Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
If you’ve been a student of writing a while you know that first sentences are critical to the success of your work. I’ve actually heard an editor say she reads the first sentence, and if it grabs her interest and doesn’t have any glaring errors, she’ll move to the second.
She will then read the second sentence and decide if she wants to read the third. The process continues until she comes to the end of the first paragraph. At that point she’ll have a pretty good idea whether she has any interest in the story or not.
But did you know the first sentences of the remaining paragraphs are equally critical?
Once you leave that first paragraph to begin the second, the real struggle begins. Here are two common problems to look for as you work on your rewrites.
1. Take a look at the opening sentences of the following paragraphs. Do you see a problem?
I remember the first time I bought a pair of designer shoes. Money was tight, even though we’d always had enough for our needs. But between the mortgage, the Christian school, and the grocery bill, there wasn’t much left at the end of the month.
I decided that bargain shopping and yard sales would clothe my family. But one day I decided the time had come—I deserved better. And in those days, “better” meant a pair of Aigner shoes.
I headed to the mall and made my selection. I wrote the check for $52 (at least four times my usual shoe allotment) and wore the blue fashion statements out the door.
I walked across the parking lot and proudly glanced around for anyone who might want to smile at me and my shoes. No one smiled.
I drove to the grocery store, anticipating the envious looks from shoppers wearing their dirty old sneakers. But no one noticed. No one except me. By the time I’d selected the apples and thumped the cantaloupe, the left shoe had begun to rub my big toe.
I knew fashion came with a price so I forged ahead, waiting for the admiring glances of moms who wanted to wear—but couldn’t afford—Aigner.
I finished my shopping and hobbled out the door. Then reality hit. Not one person had acknowledged my shoes and the message they carried. Not one person cared that I had just spent half my grocery money on a pair of hard, uncomfortable status symbols. Not one person gave a rip about me and my designer shoes.
I got what I deserved.
Okay, what do you think? If you said all the first sentences started with the same word, you’re correct.
A good writer will vary the first word of the paragraphs.
2. Now take a look at the first sentences of these paragraphs. Do you see a problem?
As a bona fide, card-carrying daddy’s girl, I grew up feeling beautiful. It didn’t matter if I sported blue-ribboned ponytails or a wet head full of bright pink curlers, Daddy never missed an opportunity to pull me onto his lap, wrap his arms around me, and tell me I was beautiful. It was a great feeling, but it didn’t last.
Before long, I was like every other female in America—I believed the lie. The lie that says we must be beautiful or young or sexy to be worthy of love.
If you’re aware of today’s culture, you may realize airbrushed models, Botoxed movie stars, and ready access to plastic surgery has fueled this lie. And we’re falling for it.
As you know, sex and beauty sell. They sell everything from cars to toothpaste and lawn mowers to furniture polish. But the world’s beauty is a false reality, one manipulated through technique . . . and presented as truth.
And because our culture and its web of deceit are never satisfied with us, we’re never satisfied with ourselves.
Well, what do you think? Did you see a problem?
If you said all the first sentences are similarly constructed, you’re right. The opening sentence of each paragraph begins with a phrase or clause, followed by a comma.
A good writer will vary the structure of the first sentences in a page of paragraphs (and the other sentences throughout the piece).
So there you have it, two things to look for as you rewrite your work. Vary your first word choice and your first sentence structure in your paragraphs, and you’ll increase your chances of seeing your work in print.
(Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
