Last week I had the joy of speaking to Lambert High School's Honors and AP Writing and Lit classes. It's always fun to speak to students, but it's extra nice when the students are actually interested in writing!
Even though these students were knowledgeable about many advanced writing techniques, one area that was a surprise for them and their teachers was the recommendation to use said rather than a thesaurus full of substitutes.
So today I'm reposting a lesson I wrote almost three years ago. The bottom line is: Contrary to what the education requirements state, in the world of publishing, said is NOT dead!
Back in 1993, before dinosaurs walked the earth, I decided to write my first book. Gary bought an electric typewriter and converted my sewing table into a desk. I ordered erasers and Correct-o-Type. But I knew that to be a real writer, I needed one more thing–a Roget's Thesaurus.
Two sentences into the first page, I opened the ten-pound book. It was a heady experience. I followed the alphabet to the one word I knew I needed to avoid: said. Everybody knew said was a wimpy word, and I was not going to be a wimpy writer!
Day after day, month after month, I typed. Soon I had a stack of white pages covered in black words–and very few of them were said. Instead, writerly words tagged my dialog. After all, why would my characters simply say something when they could comment, reply, answer, object, report, retort, observe, respond, correct, object, or add to the conversation? Such descriptive writing confirmed my expertise. I was on my way!
Five years and 50 rejections later, I decided to find out why editors couldn't see the obvious value of my writing. It took only one class to discover what was missing: the simple word, said.
Contrary to what most new writers think, said is a good word, a worthy word . . . a better word. And believe it or not, its value comes from the very thing we disdain: its simplicity. When we use the word, said, the brain sort of skims over it and is unaware of its inclusion. But when we use speaker tags other than said, the reader must evaluate the tag, consider its meaning, and apply it to the situation. Instead of making the writing better, it actually slows down the reader and requires him or her to make a decision: What is the writer trying to say?
But be careful. The appropriate use of said can lead to an inappropriate use of adverbs, a lazy method for getting your point across.
"I wish I didn't have to tell you this," Margaret said, sadly.
In this sentence, the writer has used said appropriately, but instead of showing us that Margaret is sad, the writer uses an ly adverb to simply tell us she is. Quality writing lets the reader see her sadness, with or without the word, said:
Margaret's gaze dropped to the floor and a lone tear crept down her sunburned cheek. "I wish I didn't have to tell you this."
In this example, you can see that Margaret is sad, that she's struggling with what she has to say. Successful writing shows the emotion, reveals the motivation, and lets us hear the conflict. Wimpy writing uses an endless array of speaker tags and adverbs to short-circuit the effort needed to write well.
Another good way to identify the speaker is shown above–using speaker beats. In this technique, the writer describes the character or attributes a physical action to him, letting the reader know who has spoken.
"But I don't want to go with you," Mona objected. (Please note: This is an incorrect sentence anyway since you can't "object" the words. Remember, the word you use as a tag must be a synonym for "said.")
But from this presentation, we know that Mona is speaking and that she doesn't want to go.
But what if it said:
Mona jumped from her chair and slammed her fist on the table. "But I don't want to go with you!"
In this case, we not only know that Mona is the speaker, but we also know she doesn't want to go, that she objects to going, and that she's angry or adamant about it.
So, if you're ready to take your writing to the next level, forget the thesaurus (at least when it comes to the word said) and look for ways to show us what we need to know. Your readers will thank you . . . and so will your editor!
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Kudos for YOU!
I am totally blown away by all you're accomplishing! You are proof that if you do the work of a writer (rather than just talking about it), things will eventually happen!
For years, I talked about being a writer, after all, I'd written a novel! But during those years, I had been submitting my poorly-written manuscript over and over–when I should have been learning what I was doing wrong. But if you're here, you're most likely studying the craft and learning the techniques and submitting your words…and it's paying off!
Congratulations to these Christian Writer's Den followers. We're thrilled to celebrate with you!
1. Carolyn Knefely (SC): Carolyn recently published her own cookbook of recipes for our very first Christian Communicators Conference for women who are called to a speaking ministry. Thank you, Carolyn, for sharing your great recipes with us!
2. Cindy Shufflebarger (VA): Cindy has two items to share with us. Her essay, "The Face of Change," will be in the Guideposts compilation, Extraordinary Answers to Prayer–In Times of Change. Also, Cindy was recently accepted as a contributing author at Open to Hope. You can read her powerful first article here.
3. Marilyn Turk (FL): Marilyn won a spot to the Guideposts Writers Workshop in Rye, New York last October. The contest, which is offered only every other year, was announced in the April 2010 issue of the magazine. Marilyn had entered the contest a couple of times in the past, with no response. But this time, she and 14 others won! Marilyn said the workshop working with the Guideposts staff was wonderful and a dream-come-true. The staff taught the workshoppers how to reconstruct their stories and suggested they resubmit their rewrites for publication. Marilyn did, and her story will be published in the April 2011 issue of Guideposts! She said, "Lesson learned – Never give up on your dream!"
4. Nan Jones (NC): Nan has been asked to be interviewed on the Blog Talk Radio program, Inspirational Jewels/Leading Ladies on May 22nd. She will also have a devotion published in Christian Devotions on September 12th. Be sure to check out her daily devotional blog, Morning Glory.
5. Beth Ingersoll (NC): Beth has returned to the blogging world with her new blog, The Daily Do-Over. She also just won a set of the "When Wallflowers Dance" women's Bible study from Lifeway, to be used as a blog/Facebook Bible study. Beth says to stay tuned for a start date after she receives the kit.
6. Alycia Morales (SC): Alycia has been busy, too! She and her husband have started a new ministry, Together Ministries. In addition, she sold an article to Thriving Family Magazine, with potential publication in the May 2011 issue. Alycia also has three devotions coming out with Christian Devotions in 2011: Knotted Up, April 2011; Changes, in June 2011; and Nobody Came, in July 2011.
7. Laura Krämer (CA): Laura started her new blog in January 2011.
8. Ellen Andersen (SC): Ellen recently had two devotions accepted by Christian Devotions. One will post June 28, 2011 and the other on Sept. 14, 2011.
9. Judy Parker (AK): Judy had articles published in three issues of Journey Magazine: Oct '10, Dec '10, and Feb '11. She also had a cover story in the Jan '11 issue of Clubhouse Magazine.
10. Barb Winters (IL): Churchmouse Publications recently accepted three of Barb's articles for syndication. Phone Calls That Impact Us, Painful Rest, and Adoption Directive are currently available for purchase on the Churchmouse Publications website.
11. Cynthia Lovely (NY): Cynthia has an article published in the Winter 2011 issue of Catholic Forester in the inspirational section titled, "A Lifetime Love Story." (Hey, I've written for Catholic Forester Magazine, too!)
12. Lisa Carter (NC): Worth the Trip: An Eye on the Sky, is Lisa's travel piece for FamilyFun magazine about the Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, Arizona. It will appear in the February issue.
13. Jennifer McDonald (HI): Jennifer had three articles published this fall/winter. The Wives in Bloom military website published two–On Living Out of a Suitcase and Roses in the Desert. And her most recent piece was picked up by Rosetta Stone Language Company for their homeschooling newsletter. She also has a contract to write another article for Home School Enrichment magazine.
14. Cheryl Barker (KS): Cheryl's story, "Quiet Christmas Moments," is going to be included in Cecil Murphey and Marley Gibson's newest Christmas compilation, Christmas Spirit. It will be released by St. Martin's Press in October.
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And Congratulations To These Writers Who Reached the January MoGo7000 Goal!
These writers have earned one entry into the drawing for $100, to be awarded the first Tuesday of January 2012. Just for the record, I had 7036 words, but I can't enter. 🙁
Congratulations to these writers!
- Judy Parker–7219
- Johnnie Donley–7415
- Marilyn Turk–7132
- Robin Bryce–7316
- Ellen Andersen–7740
- Leigh DeLozier–7299
- Kenneth Briggs–7071
- Kim Sprayberry–7148
- Lill Kohler–7100
- Ashley Goodnow–7004
- Cindy Patterson–approx 10,000
- Eddie Snipes–10,450
Don't worry if you didn't make it this month. The challenge starts over the beginning of each month, so you still have 11 opportunities to win some cold, hard cash!
And if you have no idea what MoGo7000 is all about, here's the scoop:
1. Each writer is challenged to write 7000 new words each month on a new or current BOOK project. Of course, you're encouraged to continue your blogs, devotions, and articles as well, but only those words written on your fiction or non-fiction book will count toward the 7000-word goal. The hope is that we'll each have at least a first draft of a new book completed in 12 months.
2. The first Tuesday of each month, I'll ask those who met the previous month's goal to post your total word count for that month. Please don't email them to me–they must be posted as a comment on the blog in order to be counted in the drawing.
3. You do NOT have to post that you didn't meet the goal, unless you just want to. We had many people who were unable to meet the January goal, but were still thrilled they had made headway on their project, whether they met the goal or not.
4. Your total must be posted within a week of the first blog post of the month, before the next week's entry is posted.
5. Although rewriting is critical to good writing, the 7000 words of this challenge must be new words, not rewritten ones.
6. Each month that you meet the 7000-word goal, you receive one entry into the end-of-the-year drawing for $100 cash. Meet the goal one month and you have one entry. Meet it every month and you'll have 12 entries!
7. There is no shame in not meeting the goal. You just start with a new goal each month!
8. You can keep up with the total any way you want to, but I mark the end of each month within the manuscript so it's easy to know where each month starts and ends. When it's time to check the word count, just highlight what you wrote for the new month and let Word Count (usually under Tools in the toolbar of Word) take care of the math.
9. It's a Win-Win situation for all of us!
I've had quite a few writers say it helps so much to have a monthly goal rather than a daily or weekly goal. Since I travel so much, I don't have any kind of regular writing schedule, but I can usually find the time to hunker down and peck out a bunch of words in a short amount of time.
So what are you waiting for? Get your BIC and start writing!
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Parting Words from the Word…
Today we spent some time learning how to correctly credit words with our writing. Let us never forget to credit the One Who loved us first…and came to tell us so.
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6
I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,
Vonda
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sure why they're going, maybe they're in a baseball tournament. I'm not sure what kind of league they're in, but it can't be an official league because the rules won't work. Since she's the only girl, she can only go because the coach's wife and daughter are going. But while they're traveling something happens-car trouble? Sickness? Lost? but the mom and daughter have to go back home and B has to stay with another team at their house since there won't be a woman with her team. She begs coach to let her stay with them but he won't. their team is poor-no matching uniforms/in dilapidated van, but the team she has to stay with is rich. Her team is staying in an old beach house but the team B's with stays in a fancy house. Somewhere along the way–I don't know what'll happen to make it happen, but she's gonna start telling lies in order to try to fit in and act like she's rich. The Paris Mountain lie. She's a good baseball player and they need her. There are 5 good players and 5 bad ones. The team has to be outside late at night-I don't know what they'll do, but they have to be out late at night so they can find the dead loggerhead turtle. Maybe she blames Ian or maybe somebody else does, but somebody thinks he did it.