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Interview and Book Give Away with Author and Speaker Linda Rooks

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By Vonda Skelton | January 28, 2009

Please welcome my friend, author and speaker, Linda W. Rooks. Linda is the author of Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. Together with her husband, she ministers to those in marital crisis. Linda's credits include Chicken Soup for the Beach Lover's Soul, Focus on the Family, HomeLife, Light and Life, The Lookout and many other national and local publications. She writes regularly for Tapestry, a Walk Thru the Bible devotional magazine and will soon be featured in Today's Christian Woman. Linda is listed in Who's Who and has participated in numerous TV and radio shows across the nation.

I can tell you that you need a copy of Linda's book, regardless of your marriage situation. We all know of friends who could benefit from Linda's experience and encouragement. Don't forget to leave a comment and you'll be in the drawing for an autographed copy! Okay, let's get started!

Vonda: First of all, Linda, tell us how you came to write Broken Heart on Hold.

Linda: For three years between 1995 and 1998 my husband and I were separated. It was an extremely difficult time, a time of confusion and crazy emotions. I needed something to hold me up and keep me strong, but when I went to Christian bookstores looking for a devotional book that could help me, I found nothing deep and gutsy enough to meet that need. Consequently, since I myself am a writer, when I experienced a particular issue, I sat at my computer and wrote until God brought me to a place of peace. I did this again and again throughout that three-year period. One day, after my husband and I reconciled, I looked at what I had written and saw that I had made at least 40 of these entries. I wondered if they might help someone else so I showed them to some published writers, who encouraged me to put them into a book. When I showed them to my husband, he saw them as a way to allow God to use those terrible three years for something good. He called it a Romans 8:28 experience: "All things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose."

Vonda: So, what was your purpose when you decided to write the book? How did you expect it would help someone else?

Linda: I felt it could help people become stronger emotionally and spiritually by meeting them in the midst of their pain and turbulent emotions and then lifting them to God. And because I'd gone through this myself, I envisioned the book being a friend to the reader. Because it's such a gentle book, I also saw it as a book someone could give a friend in marital crisis to be supportive without being intrusive.

Vonda: And I'd say you achieved that goal! In Pat Morley's endorsement, he applauds your vulnerability and courage. How were you able to go back and dredge up all those emotions and write with such vulnerability?

Linda: Much of what is in the book has its roots in writings I actually did during our separation so the emotions are very authentic. It's what I was really experiencing at the time. For those I wrote later, I actually had to allow myself to go back there, to not just remember in my head, but to allow the hurt to return and sit in my heart. It was not easy to do, but it was necessary to connect with my reader.

Vonda: Oh, that must have been so hard, but sometimes that's what authors have to do to write the message God has given them. So is your book intended to simply lend emotional support or is it intended to help reconcile a marriage?

Linda: It's actually intended to do both. Often, when people are separated or in marital crisis, they feel things are hopeless. Broken Heart on Hold helps the reader get stronger emotionally and spiritually so she not only finds hope, but also begins to see new ways to approach things to bring healing to her marriage.

Vonda: I noticed that the selections are very short, almost like devotions. Would you say it's written in a devotional format?

Linda: When I was first shopping the book around, I called it a devotional book, but editors corrected me, saying it didn't have the conventional devotional format. Instead, it's kind of a hodge-podge of different length selections written in different styles. There are even some stories and poems thrown in without scriptures.

Vonda: So why did you go ahead and write it in this unconventional way?

Linda: Because women reading the book are going through an unconventional time in their lives. Their minds are jumbled, and it's hard to concentrate on long chapters presented in pat formats. Mixing things up helps them connect and stay focused. I really wanted the reader to feel she was with a friend rather than a book. It seemed a better way to meet her emotional needs.

Vonda: What kind of response have you had from readers?

Linda: In the e-mails I receive, readers typically tell me I'm the ‘only one' who understands how they feel. They tell me the book has been a friend to them, that they read it two or three times. Some carry it around with them everywhere they go. Some sleep with it. In the past two years, I've heard from hundreds of readers. Because a person in marital crisis feels so terribly alone, the book seems to meet a real need.

Vonda: Have you been surprised by any reader comments?

Linda: Yes, I've been surprised by the number of men who read the book and tell me how much it has helped them even though the book is directed toward women. Also, since the book was written with reconciliation in mind, I've been surprised that divorce recovery groups recommend it as a resource to help the divorced work through their emotions and find closure.

Vonda: Well, it's obvious that God planned for your experience to be an encouragement and guide to others. I often say I'm glad God can take my messes and use them for His glory. You demonstrate that concept so well with your book, Broken Heart on Hold. Thank you for sharing your reconciliation journey with those who need it…and thank you for sharing your writing journey with us.

And readers, I hope you'll visit Linda at her website where you'll be able to learn more about her writing and speaking ministry. You can get your
own copy of Broken Heart on Hold here. And don't forget to leave a comment for Linda or me. You could be a winner of a free book! Be sure to check back next week for the announcement.

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Writing Opportunities for YOU!

  1. Call-Out to Military Moms: Linda Jewel is looking for stories, advice, tips and resources for a book she's writing for and about military moms. For more information, please e-mail at .
  2. Jo Rae Johnson has sent another call-out from the Chicken Soup line. Lots of opportunities with various deadlines. Check out the needs here. Thanks again, Jo Rae!
  3. Don't forget the Writer's Digest Annual Writing Competition. Some of our readers/writers have placed in the past. This could be YOUR year! Deadline May 15, 2009, so everyone has time to get something ready.
  4. DaySpring cards is looking for previously-published writers.
  5. Holiness Today Magazine will send writer's guidelines on request.

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Serious About Writing?

Then you'll want to attend a writer's conference this year. I'll be teaching at these conferences and would love to see you there! blueridgelogo2009

  1. Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference, Ridgecrest, NC, May 17-22. Scholarships available!
  2. Gideon Media Arts Conference and Film Festival, Ridgecrest, NC, May 31-June 4. 
  3. St. David's Christian Writers' Conference, Grove City, PA, June 22-27.
  4. North Texas Christian Writer's Conference, Keller, TX, September 11-12.

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Writing Classes

Tim Davis, homeschooler, illustrator, and author of the popular Mice of the Herring Bone and Dust River Gulch series of books, is offering writing and illustrating classes for adults in the Greeenville, SC area. (Greenville Technical College and Furman University) For more information, visit Tim's website, or contact him at .

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I want to thank each of your for your prayers and words of encouragement as we continue to care for my sister, Gail. The days and nights are hard, but I'm so thankful to have this opportunity to share the love and grace of our Savior with her. We are strengthened every day by the promise of our Lord:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda

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The Best Laid Plans

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By Vonda Skelton | January 21, 2009

Okay, here's the scoop. My life of caring for my sister has taken over. I praise God for the opportunity to show her my love and the love of her Savior during this time.motherlauraandgaillarge But I'm also realizing I can't keep up with everything I need to do. Most things related to my writing and speaking ministry are currently delayed. Some things are even falling through the cracks. But I'm learning–yet again–that God is in control and I'm praying that He will protect what He truly has for me to do. (Photo taken at my mother's 75th birthday party, 8-9-08. Mother, sister Laura, and sister Gail.)

Please forgive me if I've let you down. That is never my intent! If you've emailed or called with a request, please resend it. I promise to get to everything as soon as I can. And if it's truly urgent, please write "Urgent" in the subject line and I'll try to get right on it. (I'm serious about that!)

I love each of you and count it pure joy to walk this writer's journey with you. It's just that right now I have another journey to complete. Praise God His timing is perfect and Gail's destination is secure. 

 Many are the plans in a man's heart,
       but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda

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Hey You!

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By Vonda Skelton | January 13, 2009

(I'm so sorry that this week's entry has such clunky links and no photos. I'm in FL and having computer issues, so I'm on my friend's Mac and don't have time to learn how to do it right! This is the best I can do on such a tight timeframe. I'm so sorry! I hope you still find nuggests of wisdom in the words I've not-so-eloquently written.)

Hey You!

I want to let you know that I've really got my act together. I know what to do and when to do it. Not only that, but I've decided it's my job to tell YOU what to do and when to do it, too! You are so blessed to have me in your life to keep you straight.

Okay, let's be honest here. Does that introduction compel you to read my words and follow my suggestions? Probably not. I would dare say most of us would answer with something akin to, "Who died and made her queen?"

The good news is, most of us would never write those words. The bad news is, that's still the message that can come across if we're not careful.

Much of it can be blamed on a simple, little part of speech: the pronoun, "you."

Through the years, I've critiqued hundreds of articles, essays, and books specifically written to teach something to the reader. Whether the piece is an article on caring for elderly parents or a devotional book of daily Bible readings, the writer's goal is to educate, encourage, or admonish. After all, the writer knows something the reader needs to know and the written word is a great way to relay that information.

But you gets in the way. 

When we write, especially when we're trying to teach something to the reader, it's easy to get in the habit of using phrases like, "you should," "you must," and "you need to." Yes, they probably should, must, and need to do whatever it is you're trying to teach, but the tone of the piece works best with a we're-in-this-together voice of inclusivity and camaraderie.

For example, in the November 4  blog entry, /Blog.htm?blog_id=171 God and the Telemarketer, I wrote, "Ladies, we must pray earnestly and daily for a gentle and quiet spirit." Now, what if I had written, "Ladies, you must pray earnestly and daily for a gentle and quiet spirit"? See the difference? In the first example, it sounds like "we" is a group of women struggling together toward the same goal. In the second, it sounds like I'm pointing fingers and telling the readers they are woefully missing the mark. (Unlike me, the writer, who has her act together, of course!)

"It's our jobs as parents…" "64 percent of us are overweight…" and "We eat too much of the wrong foods…" sound so much better than "your job as parents," "64 percent of you are overweight," and "You eat too much of the wrong foods."

In each case, the bottom line is the same: there are changes that need to be made. But chances are, the reader is more likely to adopt your stance if she doesn't feel that you're telling her what to do.

It's all in the delivery. Don't let "you" get in the way.

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Congratulations to…

  1. Jennifer Johnson (NC). Author Jennifer Johnson and illustrator Marley Ungaro have published their first book, The Proper Use of One's Shell. This is the tale of a snail's journey to find her purpose and the proper use of her outer shell through self-discovery and a compassionate mentor, a sunflower. The book's purpose is to impart the theme that God has made everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11), and He has gifted us each perfectly and for a purpose. The book includes seven interactive parent/child devotionals as well. For more information, visit the website at or order here I'm so proud of you, Jennifer! 
  2. Jo Rae Johnson's (SC) essay, Garden Sense, will be published in the new compilation book, The Ultimate Gardener, to be released in April 2009. Add another notch in the anthology belt, Jo Rae!
  3. Jo Rae also has a devotional published in the January/February 2009 issue of The Upper Room. The Color of Love is the February 24 reading. Congratulations again, Jo Rae.
  4. Susan Dollyhigh's (NC) devotional, A Season for Hope, was posted at on December 22. Susan has also been invited to join the Internet Café Devotions' team of writers and will be posting once a month. Way to go, Susan!
  5. Dixie McClintock (TN) has published LambTalk, a collection of 36 stories about life in the Good Shepherd's flock from the lamb's point of view. (I'm thrilled to have been the first one to critique this book. 😉 To find out more, visit Dixie's website at Kudos, Dixie!
  6. Cheryl Barker (KS) will have her seventh piece (a card for moms) published by Blue Mountain Arts Cards this month! Wow! Way to go, Cheryl!

If you sent a kudos announcement to me and don't see it here, please forgive me and send it again! I'm writing this from FL and tried to forward everything from my home computer, but I could have missed something. 😉

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Don't forget to check back next week for a list of writing opportunities. You could be the next published writer we're celebrating with!

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And now, as we bring another blog week to an end, I want to share these words of David:

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda

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Smoke Signals

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By Vonda Skelton | January 6, 2009

I hate tobacco smoke. I hate the way it smells, the way it permeates my clothes and hair, and especially the way it kills. But in this season of my life as a caregiver, cigarette smoke has taken on a new and positive role-as a way to communicate with my terminally-ill sister, Gail.

The doctor gave us the bad news six days before Christmas. There was nothing more they could do and my sister had "weeks to months" to live. Three days later my sister and mother moved in with my husband and me. Together, we would love Gail and care for her and make her final days as comfortable as possible.

There was one little problem: Gail is a smoker. The problem was complicated by the fact that we can't leave her alone-even for a moment-and my mother has asthma and cigarette smoke is one of her triggers. So even though I hate cigarette smoke, that means I have to be the primary patio-smoke-partner. After all, inhaling secondhand cigarette smoke for a few weeks won't likely kill me. Mother could die from an asthma attack.

Our first night out, I wiped down the dirty, wet patio chairs and bundled us up in warm winter coats, hats, and gloves. With her catheter bag hanging from her walker, my sister toddled to the door and I held her steady as we maneuvered the step down to the deck. Our warm breath created whirls of smoke in the frigid air before the first cigarette was ever lit. After safely seating her in the chair, I handed her the Marlboros. Her hands shook as she retrieved a cigarette from the pack and placed it between her pale lips. She flicked the lighter. Nothing. She tried again. Nothing. I removed my gloves, took the lighter, and gave it a flick. Still nothing. I ran back into the house, grabbed the long-nosed grill lighter, and positioned it under the stick of tobacco. Flick! The dirty deed was done. I was hired.

We sisters sat in the cold mist and faced the awkward night together. She puffed and I talked about grandkids, the economy, and how to get four meals out of a chicken. Two cigarettes later I was shivering and reeking of smoke. I helped my sister out of the chair and back into the warm house. I'd done my job.

An hour later, we did it all again. I could feel the resentment rising as I coughed and shivered in the cold rain. Not exactly my idea of quality sister time.

Four days later, my attitude had totally changed. Oh, I still hate cigarettes. I still hate the way it smells, the way it permeates my clothes and hair, and especially the way it kills. But I love the way my sister opens up and talks while we're out on the deck. Yes, much of it is medication and illness-induced confusion and confabulation. But there are times the conversation centers on gut-wrenching hurts and pleading apologies and faith-affirming questions about her new Lord. We've shared our disappointments in ourselves and others. We've shared the celebrations we missed. We've shared a mutual heartache for the years we lost as sisters. And even though the cigarettes remain a sore spot (How can it possibly be time to go out there AGAIN???), they've become a source of communication between two sisters who never had much in common. And whether the communication is written or spoken or simply sent up in smoke signals, the message is the same: Jesus loves you. I love you. I'm glad we're here.

She cries and puffs. I cry and cough. The words float among the smoke swirls…and we have another day of life together.

Luke 15:2 tells us that Jesus "…welcomes sinners and eats with them." I have a feeling He'd sit out on the deck and breathe the smoke-filled air with my sister. He'd probably flick the lighter, too. 

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Call for Kudos…

It's that time again! Had an article published? Signed with an agent? Received an acceptance? Won a contest? Let us know so we can celebrate with you! Just email me with the details and your home state and your achievement will be announced in next week's blog.  

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And now, as we face a world of hurting people who need the words of a loving Savior, I'm reminded of the challenge Paul gave us in 1 Corinthians:

Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized-whoever. I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ-but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it! 1 Corinthians 9:21-23 (The Message)

I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda

(Photos coutesy of ChristianPhotos.net)

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