May 13, 2008
Back in 1993, before dinosaurs walked the earth, I decided to write my first book. Gary bought an electric typewriter and converted my sewing table into a desk. I ordered erasers and Correct-o-Type. But I knew that to be a real writer, I needed one more thing–a Roget's Thesaurus.
Two sentences into the first page, I opened the ten-pound book. It was a heady experience. I followed the alphabet to the one word I knew I needed to avoid: said. Everybody knew said was a wimpy word, and I was not going to be a wimpy writer!
Day after day, month after month, I typed. Soon I had a stack of white pages covered in black words–and very few of them were said. Instead, writerly words tagged my dialog. After all, why would my characters simply say something when they could comment, reply, answer, object, report, retort, observe, respond, correct, object, or add to the conversation? Such descriptive writing confirmed my expertise. I was on my way!
Five years and 50 rejections later, I decided to find out why editors couldn't see the obvious value of my writing. It took only one class to discover what was missing: the simple word, said.
Contrary to what most new writers think, said is a good word, a worthy word . . . a better word. And believe it or not, its value comes from the very thing we disdain: its simplicity. When we use speaker tags other than said, the reader must evaluate the tag, consider its meaning, and apply it to the situation. Instead of making the writing better, it actually slows down the reader and requires him or her to make a decision: What is the writer trying to say?
But be careful. The appropriate use of said can lead to an inappropriate use of adverbs, a lazy method for getting your point across.
"I wish I didn't have to tell you this," Margaret said, sadly.
In this sentence, the writer has used said appropriately, but instead of showing us that Margaret is sad, the writer uses an adverb to simply tell us that she is. Quality writing lets the reader see her sadness, with or without the word, said:
Margaret's gaze dropped to the floor and a lone tear crept down her sunburned cheek. "I wish I didn't have to tell you this."
In this example, you can see that Margaret is sad, that she's struggling with what she has to say. Successful writing shows the emotion, reveals the motivation, and lets us hear the conflict. Wimpy writing uses an endless array of speaker tags and adverbs to short-circuit the effort needed to write well.
Another good way to identify the speaker is shown above–using speaker beats. In this technique, the writer describes the character or attributes a physical action to him, letting the reader know who has spoken.
"But I don't want to go with you," Mona objected. (Please note: This is an incorrect sentence since you can't "object" the words. Remember, the word you use as a tag must be a synonym for "said.")
But from this presentation, we know that Mona is speaking and that she doesn't want to go.
But what if it said:
Mona jumped from her chair and slammed her fist on the table. "But I don't want to go with you!"
In this case, we not only know that Mona is the speaker, but we also know she doesn't want to go, that she objects to going, and that she's angry or adamant about it.
So, if you're ready to take your writing to the next level, forget the thesaurus (at least when it comes to the word said) and look for ways to show us what we need to know. Your readers will thank you . . . and so will your editor!
*****
Congratulations to the following Christian Writer's Den members who have obviously done something right!
- Melony Brown (GA) has been selected to write a series of nine articles for a new Christian Women's magazine, Daughter Sister Friend. Her first article, "Take Hold of the Wheel," will be a cover story on the inaugural June issue. Congratulations, Melony!
- Kudos to Mary Cate Bratcher (SC). Her poem, "Thank You for Giving Me Life, " will appear in the spring issue of Heavenly Angels in Need Newsletter. This non-profit organization was created "to donate items to families who have children who have passed on and for those who are clinging to life." For more information on this worthwhile cause and its needs, please visit their website.
- Buffy Griffin (NC) will have articles published in the May, June, and July issues of an Illinois community newsletter. Way to go, Buffy!
The following Christian Writer's Den readers will be at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference: Rick and Beth Prassel, Ann Wayne, Tammy Blackburn, Jan Darnell, Jill Lord, Jenn Fromke, Rebecca Davis, Burma Fickenworth, Liz Welsh, Ann Coogler, Emme Gannon, Mary Denman, and Kim Marshall.
And whether your name is on the list or not, if you'll be at Blue Ridge, I hope you'll join us in the private area of the dining room (behind the drinks and cereal) for dinner/supper on Tuesday, May 20. Feel free to bring your friends. We'll be taking a photo for the next week's blog. 😉 
Book give-away contest for kids! In celebration of the release of my newest book, Bitsy and the Mystery at Hilton Head Island, I'm running a contest for kids! All they have to do is write me and tell me in a few sentences why they would like to receive the free book. One entry will be randomly selected from all the responses and a free, autographed copy will be on its way!
Of course, if you're looking for a great gift idea for kids or if you're headed to Hilton Head this summer, I hope you'll consider ordering an autographed, personalized copy for the kid in your life. 😉
And remember, if your ladies group is looking for a group study book, I hope you'll consider my book, Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe. Along with the group discussion questions at the back of the book, I'd love to make a speaker-phone visit with your group. Just email me for details. Personalized, autographed copies are available in our bookstore or you can order through Amazon.
Well, readers, I think that does it for this week's Christian Writer's Den. I hope you've enjoyed your visit and that you've learned something that will help your writing life. Be sure to join us next week as I write from Blue Ridge. You won't want to miss the writing opportunities!
Here's our verse for this week. I hope you'll meditate on it as you seek to live for Him.
Finally, brothers, good-by. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Corinthians 13:11
I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,
Vonda
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Are you like me? Are you sometimes in the dark when it comes to discerning the road God has for you? Maybe it's simply a question of where to live or what car to buy. Or maybe you need direction regarding a marriage partner or a career choice.