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Interview and Book Give Away with Allison Bottke

17
By Vonda Skelton | April 29, 2008

April 29, 2008

The SWAT team left a horrible mess in their wake…Glass cracked under my feet like ice on a frozen pond, ready to break and suck me down…The rancid smell of alcohol and stale cigarette smoke hung in the air…Assaulted and plundered, the house was in ruins–my heart not far behind.

Vonda: These gut-wrenching words open Allison Bottke's new book, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents. And as you can see from these few lines, this is a gripping book. A book of pain and heartache, and yet, a book of hope and healing. I pray you find hope today as you read my interview with Allison. (After reading the interview, be sure to leave a comment and you'll be automatically entered in the drawing for a free copy of Allison's book.)

First, let me say I am privileged to count Allison Bottke as a friend and sister. She is the general editor of the popular God Allows U-Turns series, and the God Answers Prayer series, and has written or edited more than 23 non-fiction and fiction books. She is in frequent demand as a speaker and has been featured on The 700 Club, Decision Today, and numerous other radio and television programs. You can visit her at or .

Welcome to The Christian Writer's Den, Allison. Thank you for joining us today.

Allison: Thank you for having me.

Vonda: Allison, your book comes out of your own personal experience with your son. Please tell us about that.

Allison: For years I really thought I was helping my son. I wanted him to have the things I never had growing up. I love my son, and I didn't want him to hurt–but sometimes pain is a natural result of the choices we make. For a long time I didn't understand the part I was playing in the ongoing drama that had become my son's life–I didn't understand that I didn't have to live in constant chaos and crisis because of his choices. When I chose to stop the insanity and start living a life of hope and healing my life changed. It's a feeling I want other struggling parents and grandparents to experience. I want other parents to know that change is possible when we choose to stop the destructive cycle of enabling. And we can stop it. I know, because I've done it.

Vonda: How can we determine whether we are helping versus enabling our children?

Allison: Helping is doing something for someone that he is not capable of doing himself.

Enabling is doing for someone things that he could and should be doing himself.

An enabler is a person who recognizes that a negative circumstance is occurring on a regular basis and yet continues to enable the person with the problem to persist with his detrimental behaviors. Simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which our adult children can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior.

Vonda: You say the main problem with dysfunctional adult children isn't the choice they make or don't make – but something else entirely. If their choices aren't the main problem, what is?

ALLISON: Our biggest problem isn't about our adult child's inability to wake up when their alarm clock rings, or their inability to keep a schedule, or their inability to hold down a job or pay their bills. It's not about their drug use or alcohol addictions. It's not about the mess they're making of their life. The main problem is about the part we're playing in stepping in to soften the blow of the consequences that come from the choices they make. The main problem is us. Instead of praying to God to stop the pain, remove the difficulty, or change the life of our adult child, we must rise up and pray for something entirely different. We must pray for the courage to look deep in our own heart and soul–pray for the strength to begin a journey that quite possibly may change our own life–and pray for the wisdom to make new choices in our own life

Vonda: What does this book accomplish that other books on the topic do not?

Allison: Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower readers with a no holds barred six step S.A.N.I.T.Y. format, stating in black and white the parental behaviors that must STOP, along with identifying new habits to implement if change is to occur. Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will identify the false conceptions parents believe about themselves and their adult children and will counter each lie of captivity with the truth that setting boundaries is not only a good thing–but a vital part of hope and healing. True stories from other enabling parents and grandparents are woven throughout the chapters. Discussions with and observations from licensed psychologists and psychiatrists are also included.

Vonda: What are the six steps for hope and healing you refer to in Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children?

Allison: S.A.N.I.T.Y. Six Steps for Regaining a Healthy Relationship with Adult Children

S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money
A = Assemble a Support Group
N = Nip Excuses in the Bud
I = Implement Rules/Boundaries
T = Trust Your Instincts
Y = Yield Everything to the Higher Power of God (Surrender)

Vonda: Tell us about the S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support Group Network you founded. How can people get involved?

Allison: The "A" step in S.A.N.I.T.Y. is to ASSEMBLE a support group. This is a vital component in being able to look at our situations more objectively. We have developed a powerful Companion Study Guide that can be read individually or in a group setting. This Companion Study Guide contains all the information you need to conduct a S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support group in your neighborhood or community. Visit our web site here to find out more:

The S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support Group Network is a powerful resource to help parents and grandparents who have challenging adult children gain S.A.N.I.T.Y. in a world spinning out of control. During the years I spent as an enabling parent there were no support groups available for me as a parent in pain. Although it's a tremendously successful program, AA wasn't quite right for me, and I attended a few Alanon meetings, but the kind of empowering strength I needed for my situation wasn't available. I needed to hear from others who had walked in my shoes–I needed to hear what they were doing that worked. I needed people around me who would lovingly hold me accountable to my own choices as I experienced the journey of parenting and enabling a dysfunctional adult child. I needed an action pla
n to help me make changes in my life.

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt as I was writing Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Child that a vital part of the outreach would be the development of an international support group network based on the six S.A.N.I.T.Y. steps I had developed.

We need a resource that can help us to set appropriate boundaries and get some S.A.N.I.TY. in our households, as well as assuring us that we are walking in God's will. Following the steps outlined in Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Child is a start in addressing this issue. Attending, and/or facilitating a S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support Group in your community is the next vital step in gaining hope as you walk the often painful path to healing.

Vonda: Where can readers go for more information on your book and on the S.A.N.I.T.Y. ministry?

Allison: Everything you could possibly need is contained on our web site at:

I encourage your readers to tell me what they think about Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children. I really do want to hear reader feedback. They can reach me at: . And they'll want to visit our web site at where they will find additional resources for helping them on their road to S.A.N.I.T.Y. Remember to tell a friend in need and help save a life!

Vonda: Thank you, Allison, for sharing your story and your message with us today. I know there are readers out there, whether parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, or friends, who want to help. Your words will guide them to the steps they need to make a real difference in the lives of their loved ones. Thank you.

And readers, I hope that you will post a prayer request for the one in your life who needs help. We have a team of pray-ers who will lift you both up to the Father. Every person who posts a comment or prayer request will be automatically entered into the drawing for a free book. Deadline is Sunday, May 4. The winner will be announced in next Tuesday's post.

I hope these words from Isaiah will encourage you today:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Isaiah 43:2-3

I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda

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Going Fishin’ by Guest Blogger Renae Brumbaugh

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By Vonda Skelton | April 22, 2008

April 22, 2008

Vonda here: Welcome, friends! As promised, we're pretending today is the 5th Tuesday. After all, we're writers, and writers can make it whatever day they want, right? Next week we'll have a wonderful interview and book give away with author Allison Bottke and we'll pretend it's the 4th Tuesday. Totally confused? Good! That means I'm not alone! 😉

But regardless of what day it is, I'm thrilled to introduce to you Renae Brumbaugh, our guest blogger. Renae is the author of Morning Coffee with James, which will be released by Chalice Press in fall, 2009. You can read her Morning Coffee devotionals at She was recently selected by Barbour Books to author four books in their upcoming Camp Club Girls series, a mystery series for girls ages 8 – 12. She has had articles published nationally in such publications as In Touch, Brio, Listen, Focus on Your Child, and Good Old Days. She writes an inspirational humor article titled Coffee Talk, which currently runs in four newspapers. You can read these articles at

Please welcome Renae as she shares her insight in Going Fishin'.

Renae here: Thanks, Vonda.

My husband, Mark, is an expert fisherman. Somewhere in the depths of our messy garage, there is a neatly organized tackle box. This box contains a wide variety of plastic worms, lures, spinners, and all manner of shiny, glittery things that fish like. Some of them even have an odor! Mark knows exactly which bait to use for which fish, and he almost always comes home with a successful catch.

I like to fish, too. But I’m not an expert. Me? Just put a little bacon or bread on the hook, and drop in the line. And I almost always catch a little perch or something. That suits me just fine. I have no desire to develop the knowledge it would take to reach my husband’s skill level. That would be too much work!

As Christian writers, we are really fishermen, aren’t we? Jesus said he would make us “fishers of men,” and our writing should always be about pointing people to Him. Unfortunately, many of us take the one-flavor-fits-all bacon-on-the-hook approach to writing. We use the same techniques over and over. And, we reach the same people.

But what about all the fish out there that aren’t being caught? We have to figure out which bait will attract them. And that takes work.

I have always been a Christian writer. Long before I was ever published, I wrote devotionals and Bible studies for Christians to read. I wrote articles for Christians. I wrote books to present to Christian publishing houses. Once I started getting published, I continued writing for the same audience. I enjoy this kind of writing, and I believe it is what I’m supposed to be doing. But the truth of the matter is, I was writing for the same people over and over. I wasn’t even trying to reach anybody new.

But deep down, I’d always dreamed of being a newspaper columnist. Years ago, I had a few articles published in our local paper, but the opportunity never developed into my own column. Then, after a decade-long break, I began to pursue that dream again.

While attending the North Texas Christian Writers’ Conference in September, (where I met the wise, wacky, wonderful Vonda Skelton!), I attended Jim Watkins’ class on “Writing for a Secular Market.” He told us that we don’t always have to write about Christian topics! He said that any Christian presence in the world acts as salt and light. And he reminded us that, as Christians, our world-view will be clear in our writing, even if we don’t spell it out to our readers.

Hmmmm. Interesting food for thought.

That same day, after attending David Thomas’ class on writing for newspapers, I met with him. I showed him some of my writing, and asked him what he thought. He smiled encouragingly and said, “These are great for Christian publications. But a mainstream newspaper will never print this.” He proceeded to tell me that, if I wanted to write for newspapers, I had to “sneak” the Christianity in, at the end. He said, “If a non-Christian reader knows, right up front, that this is a Christian article, he/she will just turn the page. Get their attention first, then surprise them later.”

Hmmmmm. More interesting thoughts.

It seemed that if I was going to catch different fish, I was going to have to use different bait.

I went home from that conference and started writing up some possible articles. I submitted one to Gary, editor for our local paper. It was a humor article about football! He printed it.

I submitted something else, and boldly asked him for a column.

No response.

I submitted something else, and asked again.

No response.

I kept sending him things and sending him things. Each time, I tried to alter the tone and approach of the article, in hopes he would like it.

After a few weeks, he printed another one.

And another one.

Then, he started e-mailing me, asking me for more!

Before I knew it, I had an inspirational humor column, complete with a title (“Coffee Talk”) and a picture!

No, the articles don’t touch on difficult theology or hard-to-grasp spiritual concepts. They are simple. Easy. And funny.

But, it’s really not my job to win the world to Christ. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” So the way I see it, if I can just get readers curious about God, they will seek Him. And then, they will find Him.

And I’d say that’s some pretty good fishin’.

Vonda here again: Thanks, Renae! I appreciate you sharing your words of wisdom with us. (And readers, be sure to check out Renae's blog.)

A few final notes: The Gideon Media Arts Conference and Film Festival was absolutely amazing! What a treat to meet with and learn from well-known directors, producers, and screenwriters. We even got to preview and make suggestions on a brand new, still-in-production VeggieTales! If this sounds like something you'd like to participate in, be sure to make plans now to attend next year. It'll be even bigger and better! If you get a chance, visit the brand new website and check out the photos (although something was definitely wrong with the camera–I look WAY too old!).

And the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference will soon be here (well, actually it'll be there–at Ridgecrest, NC). With classes for writers from beginners to advanced, there is a place for everyone! Re
member to tell them you're part of The Christian Writer's Den Group of TEN and you'll get $10 off! Also, My friend, Dawn Mooring, is looking for a roommate. If interested, please email her at .

thecabincovesmallLadies, you don't want to miss the opportunity to attend The Christian Writer's Den Fall Writing Retreat at The Cabin Cove in Todd, NC. If you'd love to have four days to write while someone else cooks and cleans, this retreat is for you! But space is limited, so don't delay!

My newest book, Seeing Through the Lies, is making its way across America! I'vesttlcover100px heard from women's groups who are using it as a group study book and from ladies who are reading it on their own. If you haven't already, I do hope you'll consider picking up your own copy and giving me your feedback. Don't forget, I'd love to make a speaker phone visit with you and your ladies! Just email me for details. And please let me know if I can help with any women's ministry event needs at your church. It's such a joy to share the hope and love of Jesus. I'd love to hear from you!

And I leave you with these words of Jesus:

"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew 4:19

I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda

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Move Over, Audrey Hepburn!

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By Vonda Skelton | April 15, 2008

Hi Gang! As you read this, I'm at the Gideon Media Arts Conference & Film Festival at Ridgecrest Conference Center, NC. I'm having a ball hanging around movie producers, directors, screenwriters, radio personalities, and professional actors. If this sounds like something that interests you, I hope you'll plan to join me next year!

In addition to co-directing the teen program, I'm teaching church drama. But believe me, it's not all work. I'm having a ball participating in The Scene Shop, where a few of us actor wannabes (along with some real live professionals) present scenes from brand new movie and TV scripts!  

I'm just waiting for the moment a big movie director runs up to me and says, "I HAVE to have you in my next movie!" Hey, who knows, maybe I'll be the next Audrey Hepburn!

Yeah. Right.

Anyway, because I'm having fun up here, I can't be working hard on the blog at home, so instead of the usual format, today I'll just send you to WritersWrite. This is a great site with lots of good information, but if you're interested in writing for publication, you have to check out this ONE SPECIAL LINK. I just found it and WOW! It's an amazing collection of writer's guidelines for a variety of publications. You can either search for specific magazines, or simply scroll down and they have categories to browse. It even lists paying vs non-paying markets. I have a feeling I know which ones most of you will be looking at! 😉 I sure wish this had been around back when I first started writing magazine articles! 

Let me warn you, some links don't work, but there are many, many that do. Also, if you look at a magazine you've never heard of, be sure to check it out as much as possible. There are some real crooks out there–even if they seem to be Christian publications. 

And, of course, you'll want to follow the guidelines exactly as listed. 

Well, that should keep you busy this week. Have fun! 

Thank you to all of you who responded to my request for writers for a pool of guest bloggers. We are so blessed to have so much talent among us! Thanks! We're all set for the next full year of 5th Tuesday bloggers.

But because of our pre-scheduled interview with Allison Bottke on April 29, we will pretend that next Tuesday is the 5th Tuesday. (Writers can do that, right? After all, if we can create new worlds, it's a piece of cake to decide that the 4th Tuesday is the 5th! 😉 So, next week our guest blogger will be author Renae Brumbaugh. I've already taken a sneak-peek, and believe me, you're in for a treat!  

And you won't want to miss the upcoming 2008 Christian Writer's Den Writing Retreat. Space is limited to the next 10 ladies who register, and then we'llthecabincovesmall begin a waiting list. (Sorry, guys, but this has to be a ladies only event.) The dates are October 16-19 in Todd, NC at The Cabin Cove. You don't want to miss this time of relaxing, refreshing, renewing, reconnecting…and that other "re" word–rewriting!  

Thank you for stopping by and hanging out at The Den today. It's so much fun to be with you as we share the joys and struggles of writing. Thank you for your notes and encouraging words. I hope you'll invite all your writing friends to join us!

This week let's meditate on these words from David:

I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. Psalm 9:1 

I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda 

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Teaching Biblical Truth Through Secular Fiction

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By Vonda Skelton | April 8, 2008

April 8, 2008

Today's fictional children are invincible. They're smart and calculating and wise beyond their years. They're totally independent and answer to no one. They nab the bad guy and save the planet and solve the world's problems through their ingenuity and insight. And where are today's fictional adults while all this is going on? They're standing in the corner, picking their noses–inept bystanders in the crises of life.

bitsy_tybee_cover_100pxTruth is, real kids need us adults. They need us to listen and understand and offer guidance. Lesson #1: Fictional kids need adults, too.

When I decided to write my first book, Bitsy and the Mystery at Tybee Island, I wanted to create a story kids would love, one with adventure, danger, and mystery. But I wanted more than just a good story. I wanted to teach something in the process.

  1. I wanted kids to see cause and effect. As adults, we know there are consequences for poor choices in life. You choose to be tardy at work, and you get fired. You choose to eat the wrong kinds of foods, and your health suffers. But the truth of consequences is often missing in children's fiction. Many children's books have kids doing a variety of dangerous and unhealthy things, with no undesireable effects. I wanted kids to experience the consequences of poor choices through my characters. And remember, consequences don't have to come at the hands of adults. Natural consequences may be punishment enough and are often more effective. Kidnapping, false accusations, and loss of trust are a few of results the characters suffer in the Bitsy series.
  2. I wanted to kids to see that adults are usually pretty smart people. Fictional adults are often portrayed as oblivious to danger, or if they are aware, they're unable to do anything about the problem. Parents are stupid, teachers are idiots, and authority figures have their own wicked agendas. Sure, a good mystery must have good guys and bad guys, but I still wanted the majority of adults to be intelligent and have the kids' best interest at heart. In each Bitsy mystery, the kids are the ones who ultimately solve the puzzle, but it's done without sacrificing the primary adults' integrity.
  3. I wanted kids to see that family is an important, desirable part of life. Bitsy has an intact family who, like all real families, has blemishes. They argue and fight, but there's no doubt they love each other. Bitsy may resent her siblings' intrusion in her life and may wish for freedom from family constraints, but in each book, she learns one more reason to appreciate them.
  4. I wanted kids to see a Christian family who isn't perfect, but who believes in a God who is. In contemporary fiction, Christians are often presented in one of two ways–either as Bible-thumping idiots or as saccharine-sweet saints. The truth is, we're just like everyone else. We struggle with right and wrong. We face difficult situations, and we can't understand why some things happen in life. In the Bitsy series, Bitsy and her family struggle to do right when it would be so much easier to do wrong.

As writers of children's fiction, I feel we have a responsibility to our readers and their parents. Can parents trust our writing? Can children trust the story we've created? Will they learn and grow and experience life by reading what we've written? I certainly hope so. If not, we've contributed to the idea that children are invincible and they don't need us old people to help them along the way.

And we all know that's a lie.

But what if you're not writing for children? Do you think this instruction isn't for you? Think again. Lesson #2: Whether you're writing for children or adults, the protagonist of every story must learn something. He or she must change and grow over the course of the book. So regardless of who you're writing for, remember that you can teach Biblical truth through your secular fiction.

We have lots of great stuff to announce this week, so please read on. You won't want to miss out on a thing!

thecabincovesmallFirst of all, each fall, Edie Melson and I lead The Christian Writer's Den Writing Retreat for women. This year's retreat will be held October 16-19 at The Cabin Cove in Todd, NC. We only have 10 spaces left, so you'll want to register soon! Once our spaces are filled, we'll begin a waiting list. Don't delay! You can find all the information here.

A Reader Writes. I'm looking for writers! Each month that has a 5th Tuesday I'll be opening the blog to a guest blogger–and it could be you! You don't have to be a published writer and you don't even have to know anything about blogging. All I'll need is a 500-600 Word document on whatever you'd like to write about that would be of interest to writers. Although this is planned for the 5th Tuesday, I already have Allison Bottke's interview scheduled for that day this month, so the first guest blogger will be featured April 22. If you'd like to be in the guest blogger pool of writers, just email me. It's that easy! But please hurry–I need someone for this month's issue now!

It's not too late to register for the Gideon Media Arts Conference and Film Festival, to be held next week April 14-18 at Ridgecrest, NC. If you're interested in learning how to present a Christian worldview through movies, television, radio, or church drama, you won't want to miss it. I'll be teaching church drama and co-directing the Gideon Intern program. Well-known speakers include Phil Vischer of VeggieTales, Ken Wales of the Christy movie and television series, Michael Catt of Facing the Giants, and many others. I'd love to see you there!

sttlcover100pxWe still have a few states left on our goal of getting Seeing Through the Lies into every state in the country. If you live in one of the remaining states (or know someone who does) and are willing to help me by being an influencer, just email me and I'll send you a free book! Here are the states we're still looking for: Connecticut, DC, Maine, Massachusetts, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Dakota, Rhode Island, and Vermont. And remember, if your women's group uses Seeing Through the Lies as a group study book, I'll make a speaker phone visit at one of your meetings. Just email me for details.

And now for this month's Christian Writer's Den kudos. The following members have publishing news to announce (And if you're reading this, you're considered a member!). Congratulations, writers, and thank you for allowing us to celebrate with you!

  1. Linda Winn–Linda's hardba
    ck book, Happy Tails: Insprational Stories for Dog's Best Friend , will be released soon by Thomas Nelson. This is a great book for any dog lovers out there. And Linda is offering a special prelease deal! Be sure to check it out and you could be the first one to have this new book!
  2. Jean Matthew Hall–Jean has two bits of good news to report. First, her essay, "Stephen's Garden," will be in the May issue of Sasee Magazine. Jean says this essay shows how gardening helped her in her journey through grief. She also reports that she is now the editor of a quarterly Women's Ministry newsletter, "Gleanings." In addition to the editorship, she will have a regular column, "Encouraging Words," which will be read by over 1000 women.
  3. Barbara Parentini –Barbara has a devotion in the new book, Daily Devotions for Writers, published by The Writing Academy. If you recall, we announced the call for submissions for this publication right here on the loop. Barbara responded and here she is! This would make a great gift for yourself or for any other writer you know. If you'd like your own personalized copy, just email Barbara at .
  4. Marilyn Lyttle–Marilyn continues to add to her writing credits with two devotions in upcoming The Upper Room issues. The first will be in this year's May/June issue and the next will be in the March/April 2009 issue. These opportunities came about through Marilyn's attendance at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference. Marilyn says, "If anyone asks, writing conferences certainly are beneficial!"

Well, I think that's it for this week. I hope you've been encouraged today to share the good news, whether through books, articles, essays, scripts, or the spoken word:

…Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect… 1 Peter 3:15

I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda

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Waiting in the Fast Lane

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By Vonda Skelton | April 1, 2008

April 1, 2008

Waiting is hard for me. I read of Sarah waiting for Isaac, Anna waiting for the Messiah, and Elizabeth waiting for John, and I'm amazed. I mean, can you believe Sarah waited about thirty years for a baby? Thirty years? I have a hard time waiting for my nails to dry!

But God's Word is clear that we're to wait, to be still, to remain in Him.

  • Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14
  • Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. Psalm 37:7a
  • Remain in me, and I will remain in you. John 15:4a

We know we need to find time every day to be in the Word. Bible study, word studies, and Sunday school lessons are great ways to grow closer to the Lord, but in order to truly rest in Him, we must learn to wait.

And that's the hard part. But it's in the waiting that we hear God's voice.

I have to admit, there are times I can't hear God. I pray and pray and read His Word, and yet, I don't hear a thing.

It's not His fault.

I realize now the problem is not in His speaking, it's in my listening. After all, I have my list of prayer requests-all good things, you understand, and most are for other people. I faithfully go down the list one by one, telling God what I'd like Him to do. And then it's over. I'm off and running, cramming in all the important things I have to do that day.

And God is left alone. There He was, just about to tell me what He wanted me to know, but I didn't have time to listen. He wanted to tell me to take the job or to turn down the volunteer position or to mentor the young bride at church. But I couldn't hear Him . . . because I wasn't there. Because I didn't have time to wait on Him.

When I was going through a particularly unsettling time in my life, my friend, author Susie Larson, shared an important step to truly hearing God's voice. She suggested I spend at least an hour a day just waiting on the Lord. She said two hours would be even better! Can you believe it? Well, it took me about half a second to tell her exactly what I thought about her great idea. That all sounded well and good, but I didn't have time. Besides, I knew exactly what would happen if I tried to do nothing but sit for an hour-I'd fall asleep!

So she told me to start small. She suggested I read Psalm 73:23 and then spend ten minutes meditating on the verse, listening for God's voice. I still thought she was crazy, but I told her I'd try. That first morning, I got up at 4:30, made myself a cup of coffee and settled in my chair. Taking my Bible, I read the passage and then told God I wasn't sure how to do this, but I was there, just in case He had anything He wanted to tell me.

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. Psalm 73:23

I read the verse again and meditated on the words, you hold me by my right hand. In my mind, I pictured God and me, holding hands. I sat quietly and waited.

I reread the verse. And waited some more. And then I heard Him! By meditating on that one short verse and then waiting, I heard His voice! Oh, I didn't hear trumpets or receive any great revelation about my current problem, but I knew He was there. Just God and me, sitting in my chair in the corner of the living room. As He planted thoughts or single words in my mind, I pursued them, searching for another scripture that would whisper His heart.

Rest . . . wait . . . wisdom . . . peace.

I stayed with Him about an hour that first morning, and longed for more. It was a new, sweet experience, and one I now look forward to every morning.

I've learned to cherish our time together. And whether I have thirty minutes or an hour and a half, the time flies by. Some days I have to refocus my heart and mind again and again, and some days I hear Him more clearly than others. But I can promise you this-if I'm really there, He's really there.

It's all in the waiting. It's all in the being quiet and listening for His voice. God wants us to rest in Him. He wants to speak to our spirits and let us know He's really there. He's just waiting for us.

What are you waiting for? An answer? A healing? A publication? Could you be like me? Could God be trying to tell you something, but you're too busy to hear His voice? Oh, friends, this is a constant battle for me, and I know it is for many of you. Will you join me? Instead of just "spending" your time reading a quick devotion and running down your prayer requests, will you commit to sitting and waiting on Him? It won't be easy. It'll take focus and determination, especially when the days are long and the sleeps are short.

No agenda, no lists. Just us and God, relating to each other. I know we'll be amazed at what He has to say when we're quiet enough to hear His voice.

I know it will be worth the wait.

And now, for the winner of Virelle Kidder's excellent book, Meet Me at the Well . If you recall, each person who left a comment at one of the blog locations received one entry into the drawing. And the winner is . . . Christy Hawkes! Christy, please email Virelle through her website and give her your address. I'll let her know to be on the lookout for your note. Congratulations! You're going to enjoy your new book!

This past weekend's Foothills Writers Guild Workshop in Anderson, SC was wonderful! Congratulations to the committee for organizing such a well-run conference. This was my second opportunity to teach there and both times have been excellent. I hope you will plan now to attend the conference next year about this time. You won't be sorry!

Don't forget that you can get a $10 discount at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference in May. Just let them know that you're in a Group of TEN with  The Christian Writer's Den. You don't have to register together or anything. Just let them know you're part of our group (and if you're reading this, you ARE!). 

Next week is our kudos week, so please let me know if you have any publishing news to report. Perhaps you've gotten a contract or had an article published or released a new book. Whatever it is, we'd love to celebrate it with you! Just email me with the information and the state you live in, and we'll be happy to jump on your bandwagon!

Will you meditate on these words of Jesus this week?

What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Matthew 10:27

I pray God's blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda

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