Tag Archives: fear

Parting Words From The WORD…

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By Vonda Skelton | May 11, 2012

Photo courtesy of ChristianPhotos.net

Perhaps you’ve noticed there’s been a lot of recent conversation here at the Christian Writer’s Den about stress, weariness, disappointment, hurt, and other symptoms of living on this earth. You’ve seen quite a few comments on the blog, but there have been many, many more that were sent to me personally, ones that were too tender to post out loud.

For those who’ve shared your hardship with me, please know I continue to pray for you. But even for those who are just going through the daily struggles of life, the pressure can be wearying.

Regardless of what we’re going through, we’re often afraid to admit our frustrations and fears. After all, we know we have Jesus and His strength in our corners, ready and quite able to take our burdens. If only we’d admit our struggle. But we’re supposed to be strong. How can we admit such weakness to our brothers and sisters?

David, the man after God’s own heart, had similar hardships and fears. The difference is, he admitted them…in writing…for all to see. Like many of us, David was a writer, singer, and poet and his words written over 2,000 years ago speak clearly to me today. Do they speak to you?

In Psalm 3, David cried out to God while he was running from his son, Absalom, who was trying to kill him. But even though he was facing possible death, he knew where his strength came from…

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,
my glory, and the lifter of my head. Psalm 3:3 (ESV)

What a beautiful picture. The Lord Himself as a shield, surrounding David with His protection. I can see myself in that picture too, can you? If I close my eyes I can imagine Jesus sitting next to me as I rest against Him, my head gently cradled in His arms. I’m weary and tired and hurt…but He holds me with love.

Wow.

He is my shield.

He is my glory.

He is the lifter of my head.

I pray God’s blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda

(Photo courtesy of ChristianPhotos.net)

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Parting Words From The WORD…

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By Vonda Skelton | April 27, 2012

Photo courtesy of ChristianPhotos.net

Friend and writer, Marilyn Shipe, sent a blog to share with us: Famous People Who Found Success Despite Failure by Ben Hsu is a list of just that–famous people who found success despite failure. :-)

  • J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter was rejected 12 times.
  • Walt Disney was fired for lacking an imagination.
  • Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was four.
  • Vincent Van Gogh only sold one painting his entire lifetime.

The list goes on and on.

Do you know anyone like that? As you look at the list, the truth rises to the surface. These non-famous people became famous people because they didn’t give up. They might have been afraid, but they took the next step anyway.

Gideon was like that. He was fearful. The Midianites were stealing their cattle, taking their crops, oppressing them on every side. Gideon was so scared he was threshing his wheat in a winepress, hoping to keep it from the enemy.

An angel of the Lord came to him and said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior” (Judges 6:11). Gideon asked if God was with them, why was all this happening to them. To which the angel replied:

“Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” Judges 6:14

Go in the strength you have. Now. Take the next step. Don’t look at the weaknesses and past failures. Go in the strength–in whatever measure it is–that you have right now.

Of course, we know the rest of the story. Gideon led a mere 300 men into battle and beat the Midianites.

Gideon is a man who found success despite Israel’s previous failures and fears. He found success because God was sending him and he took the next step.

What is God calling you to do? Whatever it is, you can be assured if He is calling you, He will be sending you. But you have to take the first step.

I pray God’s blessing on the work of your hands and your hearts,

Vonda

(Photo courtesy of ChristianPhotos.net)

 

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Writing for Women

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By Vonda Skelton | April 17, 2012

Photo courtesy of HealingDream/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’ve had the joy of writing in a variety of genres and am looking forward to adding a couple of more in the next few years. In addition to my goal of writing a women’s fiction loosely based on my experience of caring for my sister during her terminal illness, I’m planning to try my hand at writing a screenplay based on the yet-to-be-written book.

And although the ideas excite me, they scare me, too. After all, I’ve already written a book for women…and I know what it takes. If you’ve ever considered writing fiction or non-fiction for the fairer sex (note I did NOT say weaker sex), you might want to consider what it will require.

1.  Transparency. If there’s anything universally true about writing for women, it’s that it requires transparency. Whether we’re writing fiction or non, we must be honest about our fears, doubts, and failures.

Were you mad at God? Admit it. Ready to walk out the door of your marriage? Let us know. Frustrated with a child’s choices in life? Join the crowd. That means you’re like the rest of us. It’s what you did with that anger and struggle and frustration that allows us to learn from you.

I’ve read books, and I assume you have too, where the writer is such an expert Christian that she can’t admit she struggled, and perhaps still does at times. I just can’t respect or relate to those kinds of books. Let’s face it, as Christians, we’re never going to get everything right here on earth. To present ourselves as one who has arrived is to present a lie.

2.  Writing about real life. Dirty diapers. Bills. Scrubbing toilets. That’s real life for most of us. And that’s what will draw me in to your story. Yes, if you’re writing fiction, you have the freedom to help us escape through the lives of the characters, but we still must be able to find real life feelings and emotions within those characters. I don’t know what it’s like to have a husband who cheats on me, but I expect such a character to respond in a realistic way. Even if we don’t see it on the surface, we must be able to identify with what’s going on inside her.

In non-fiction, the topic must be something that is real to your target audience woman. Write it real to the subject and she’ll be able to identify with you and your situation…and you’ll be able to help her.

3.  The ability to laugh at yourself. Laughter is a uniting technique that breaks down walls and draws the reader in, especially when we’re plopping ourselves out there for our readers. Writing Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe was gut-wrenchingly difficult because of the transparency, but fun because I was able to laugh at myself. I was able to take many of my foibles of life and use them to present spiritual truths. Women could see the scene, find themselves in the character, and apply God’s Truth to their own situations.

4.   A we’re-in-this-together voice. You should refrain from using the words “you should.” :-) You should, you need to, and you must should be used sparingly and in a way that doesn’t point the proverbial finger. Yes, there are times when you may need to say something using those words, but that shouldn’t be the voice of the book.

Instead, using phrases like we can, we must, and if we…then… takes away the pointing finger and replaces it with a warm hug. It’s a sitting-around-the-kitchen-table-and-sipping-coffee kind of statement. And that kind of statement will draw your reader into your story and allow her to benefit from your experience.

Writing for women isn’t easy, but it’s a worthy calling, and one that I’m honored to have received. I know many of you have, too. As my tagline says, I’m thankful God can take my messes and use them for His glory…if we let Him.

After all, God doesn’t waste any scars.

Half-price sale for Mother’s Day! Want your own autographed copy of Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe for half price? What about giving them as Mother’s Day gifts? Just contact me and I’ll send you a charge through PayPal for only $6.50 plus shipping ($2.50) per book. PLEASE DO NOT ORDER HALF-PRICE OFFER THROUGH VONDA’S STORE–IT WILL CHARGE YOU FULL PRICE!

Here’s a recent review of Seeing Through the Lies:

5.0 out of 5 stars You will enjoy this humorous, fun and thought provoking book, May 24, 2011
This review is from: Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe (Paperback)

You will enjoy this humorous, fun and thought provoking book. There are many principles to apply to your everyday life. The amusing and personal stories will encourage you to continue learning and growing in your spiritual quest. The chapter’s end with a list of Bible readings that apply to the information you have just studied. There are also questions to answer to make sure you have understood the principle the author is teaching.

One of the chapters entitled “I’m So Proud of My Humility” explains how pride will get you no where! Using scripture and personal stories the author encourages you to leave the worlds lie behind that says you deserve more then anyone else.

The chapter entitled “Fear and the Faith Factor” was a personal favorite. Following the principle of scripture you will learn how to make decisions not on fear but on prayer.

“When does Happily Ever After Begin?” is a hilarious chapter and includes wonderful insight on how to maintain a happy marriage. The author is very clear that happily ever after does not exist and is just another lie the world has lead us to believe.

This book is filled with excellent principles and easy to follow steps to shake off the lies of the world and center your thoughts on the Lord’s truth. I loved this book so much I gave away copies as presents for Mothers Day!

(Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net and Healing Dream)

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Are We Willing to Lay It on the Altar?

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By Vonda Skelton | March 6, 2012

Photo courtesy of ChristianPhotos.net

Most of us here are writers and speakers. It’s not only what we do, but it also cuts to the core of who we are. We often say we write or speak because we have to, that we feel God has given us the ability to communicate so we can share Him, the cure for a lost and dying world.

This past Sunday morning, my friend and writing sister, Edie Melson, posted her compelling poem, A Divine Obsession, in which she states a repeated refrain, “I write because I must.” And to that I say, “Amen, sister!” I read Edie’s beautiful post Sunday morning, took comfort in the truth of her words and God’s blessing on me as a writer, and headed to out the door to worship.

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The Bucket, by Guest Blogger Cindy M. Jones

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By Vonda Skelton | January 31, 2012

Dear friends, you are in for a treat!  Today’s 5th Tuesday Guest Blogger is Cindy M. Jones, a writer and friend I met at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference several years ago. I can’t wait for you to read this article straight from her heart. And even though it’s a serious message, you’ll get a little chuckle along the way. Thanks for joining us, Cindy!

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Writer’s Headlines: BONUS Author Interview & Book Give-away with Edie Melson!

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By Vonda Skelton | December 29, 2011

Today is a fifth Thursday, and with my new blog schedule, that allows me to post whatever I want, so we’re going to talk with author, speaker, and social media guru, Edie Melson!

Edie needs no introduction on this blog. As you know, we started out together after meeting as conferees at Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference back in 2001 and have worked on many projects together. You can read Edie’s complete bio below, but I just want to say here that she has become the go-to person for social media and her book, Social Media Marketing for Writers, has been an Amazon #1 Bestseller. Way to go, Edie!

But today I want to introduce you to Edie’s newest book, this one from the heart of a mom. Fighting Fear, Winning the War at Home When Your Soldier Leaves for Battle, debuted on Veterans Day, 2011, and is a devotional book for those with family members in the military.

And readers, be sure to leave a comment for Edie and you could win a copy of her new book!

Welcome to the Christian Writer’s Den, Edie! I love to hear this story, but for those who haven’t heard, tell us why you wrote this book.

Our oldest son decided to bypass college and go straight from graduation, to Marine Corps book camp, to Iraq. I struggled with fear during his time in the military – especially during the deployments. I looked for resources for families and only found things written for military wives. I decided that if I survived his time in the military I’d write about how God had kept me sane.

What do you hope the readers get from this book?

I hope they realize they are part of a community. They aren’t alone. So many of those families struggling with deployment don’t live on a military base. That can cut them off from a group of people who understand the experience.

I want this book to be a resource and to point loved ones to the ultimate help, God.

What held you together during his times of deployment?

I have to give all the credit to God. He surrounded me with family, friends and an amazing church, to give me the support I needed.

How can other families dealing with this issue find help?

I have a great community blog with tips and encouragement from others who are and have experienced the deployment of a loved one. It’s also important to let those around you know what you’re dealing with. Our church family was a great resource for prayer support during Jimmy’s deployments.

My website is www.WinningTheWarAtHome.com

Also, for moms of active-duty or honorably-discharged kids there is an organization called Blue Star Mothers of America. This is a 501(c)3 organization and there are chapters in most cities and areas of the US. I’m a member and they helped me immensely by providing a place where everyone understood what I was going through.

As a matter of fact, my publisher and I are donating a portion of every book sold to the troops through the Blue Star Mothers organization.

Speaking of Jimmy, is he out? How is he doing?

He does have some disability from the time he served, but he’s doing really well. He and his wife live about three and a half hours from us and he’s in college full-time right now. He wants to go into teaching – but I suspect he may turn out to be in denial about his own writing abilities.

So, how long have you been a writer?

I’ve been a writer as long as I can remember. I was in denial for a long time, but I actually wrote my first novel – long-hand – when I was in eighth grade.

What pulled you out of your writing denial?

A lot of things helped. But the defining moment for me was feeling like God was calling me to share His message through the written word. At that point writing became less about me and more about obedience to Him. Soon after that I began attending writing conferences and as they say, the rest was history!

So you don’t have any kind of writing degree?

Nope, I started the hard way. I learned the craft of writing by attending years of online classes and workshops as well as writing conferences and reading writing books. And…most important…by WRITING!

If someone wants to be a writer and they don’t have a degree, how do you recommend they get started?

I think it’s vitally important to take classes and attend conferences. It’s also important to be part of a growing community of writers – like an online or in person writers group.

I think you also have to ask yourself if you could be happy doing anything else but writing? If you could – go do it! This is a great business, but it’s also brutal. You’ll never survive if you don’t love it.

Do you have any conferences you recommend?

One of my favorites, of course, is the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference. It was one of the first I attended, back in 2001. Now I’m the co-director, along with Alton Gansky.

Why are conferences important?

They give you the opportunity to learn the craft, network with industry professionals, and meet other writers.

If it hadn’t been for Blue Ridge, I might not have ever gotten published. It was the mentoring of faculty and opportunities presented by editors that gave me my start.

Back to your book. How can someone get their own copy?

They can order it online from Amazon or Barnes and Noble or they can have their local bookstore order it. It’s available as an eBook or a traditional print book.

Or, if you want an autographed copy, I’ll be happy to arrange that through either my writers website: www.theWriteConversation.com or the book’s website: www.WinningTheWarAtHome.com

And as I mentioned earlier, Fighting Fear: Winning the War at Home isn’t your first book.

I do have another book out, Social Media Marketing for Writers. And as you said, it actually hit #1 in its category on Amazon this past summer. It’s available on Amazon or Barnes and Noble as an eBook.

Thanks again for joining us, Edie! What a personal joy it is for me to see all your successes…and to know first hand that they didn’t come easy. Writing is hard work, but so worth the effort!

Readers, be sure to check out the rest of Edie’s bio here: Edie is a freelance writer and editor with over 16 years experience in the publishing industry. She’s a prolific writer, publishing over 700 articles in 2010. She also has a popular writing blog, The Write Conversation and is a frequent contributor to many others. In keeping up with the leading edge of all things digital Edie has become known as one of the go-to experts on Twitter, Facebook, and social media for writers wanting to learn how to plug in. Her bestselling eBook on this subject, Social Media Marketing for Writers, is available on Kindle and Nook.

As a sought after writing instructor, her heart to help others define and reach their dreams has connected her with writers all over the country. She’s the co-director of the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference and Southwest Christian Writers Studio, as well as a popular faculty member at numerous others. Edie is also the Assistant Acquisitions Editor for www.ChristianDevotions.us.

Fighting Fear, Winning the War at Home, is Edie’s latest project. This devotional book for those with family members in the military debuted on Veterans Day, 2011. www.winningthewarathome.com.

She’s a member of numerous professional writing organizations, including the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, The Christian Pen, The Christian Writer’s View I and American Christian Fiction Writers. She’s also an assistant copy editor for the Voices E-zine, a publication of My Book Therapy and a part of the My Book Therapy Special Teams Blog and The Social Media Coach for the My Book Therapy Core Team www.mybooktherapy.com .

Married 30 years to her high school sweetheart, Kirk, they have raised three sons. You can contact Edie directly at ediegmelson (at) gmail (dot) com.

And readers, don’t forget to leave Edie a comment below and you’ll be in the drawing for a free book! Don’t forget to check back next Thursday to see if you’re the winner!

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You Have TWO More Days To MoGo! 

That’s right! The 2011 MoGo7000 Challenge will end at midnight, December 31 and someone is going to win $100–it could be YOU!

I’ll ask for your totals next Thursday and those who wrote at least 7000 new words on a book project will get another entry into the drawing. The winner of the $100 cash prize will be announced on January 12.

But don’t stop writing! The new 2012 MoGo7000 will begin on January 1, so be sure to keep a record of your word count. Check the MoGo7000 guidelines here and then get to work on your new goal.

I can’t wait to see who wins!

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What a joy to meet up with you each week. Thank you for your encouragement and support, not only for me, but for writers, like this week’s Dianne Matthews and Edie Melson, who share their knowledge–and their books–with us!

Write on!

Vonda

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Christmas Chaos? Check Out Mary’s First Christmas

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By Vonda Skelton | December 6, 2011

Courtesy of Evan Courtney

Let’s face it, we usually have an expectation of how Christmas must look, sound, feel, smell, and taste. The trees…the decorations…the gifts…the baking…the parties…the cards…the wardrobe…the lights. ARRGGGGHHHHHHH! Who can find time for it all?

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Confessions of a Perfectionist Guest Blogger by Lynn Blackburn

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By Vonda Skelton | November 29, 2011

Have you ever volunteered for something and then realized later that you were in way over your head? That there was a good chance you were going to make a fool out of yourself?

Yeah, me neither.

Except, well, there was this one time. A writer I admire had some openings for guest bloggers. And I said, “Me, pick me!”

Gulp.

She did.

It might have been okay if I could have written my post immediately. But my assigned slot was over a year away. A lot can happen in a year.

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I Will Not Be Frozen with Fear!

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By Vonda Skelton | November 1, 2011

I’m thrilled to introduce Suzanne Harris, one of the precious ladies at the 2nd Christian Communicators Conference. She wrote this powerful message after she arrived home from the conference. It’s a message for all of us as writers and speakers.

I Will Not Be Frozen with Fear!

By Suzanne Harris

I felt the phone vibrating in my pocket as we gathered on the stairs for the group photo. I peeked. It was Mom. “Hey Mom, I can’t talk. I haven’t left yet – I’m sorry to keep you waiting. I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’m doing the best I can. I’ll call you when I’m on the road. What? I can’t hear, I’m in a group of people – tell Daddy I’m sorry.”

The sobs came almost immediately. The spell had been broken. All week I had been living in a dream world, but the outside world came crashing back in. Too soon. Too soon. I wasn’t ready.

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Do You Really Want to Be a Master at Writing? (and Writing Opportunities just for you!)

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By Vonda Skelton | September 20, 2011

Several of you have mentioned your frustration with continued rejections, marked-up critiques, or blogs with few followers. So this looks like a good time to revisit this blog post, written several years ago:

walkway2bobspaldingWant to Be a Master Writer?

My journey to publication was like that of many writers…filled with unexpected (and of course, undeserved) detours of rejection and denial. What were those editors thinking? Didn’t my years as a high school newspaper reporter and editor of the literary journal count for anything? And what about all those A’s I made in college English Comp class?

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