It’s Time for Agent Chip MacGregor’s Annual Bad Poetry Contest! Enter There and Win Here!

Laughing horse morguefile

Okay, I know you’re not supposed to be getting a post from me today, but I couldn’t take a chance that you might miss out on this ab-so-lute-ly amazing writing opportunity and chance to win.

It’s time to join in the fun going on over at Chip MacGregor’s Bad Poetry Contest to celebrate his birthday. And if you enter there, you could win here!

For those who’ve been around writing conferences for a while, you’ll recognize the name, Chip MacGregor. For those who don’t know him, Chip is owner of MacGregor Literary, one of the most recognized agencies in the business. He’s spoken at writing conferences in over 100 locations. And I can promise you, once you’ve been around Chip, you won’t forget him. He helps writers around the world with his snarky voice and big heart. (Don’t tell him I said the big heart part. He likes to protect his image.)

Now, this is how it’s gonna work here at The Christian Writer’s Den. Please read Chip’s intro below and then finish it at his blog. Then write your own bad poetry and leave it as a comment for Chip at his blog. BUT THEN…come back here and post a comment that you left an entry at the contest, and I’ll put your name into another contest HERE! I’ll go to Chip’s blog and read for myself how bad your poem is. I hope it’s really bad! My husband will select a winner from among the Christian Writer’s Den submissions.

Here’s Chip’s introduction to his 7th Annual Bad Poetry Contest:

This is Chip.

This week is a special, heart-touching time of year, when all young writers turn to thoughts of bad poetry. That’s because, each year at this time, we take a week to celebrate my birthday — not with cards, not with songs, not with cutesy memes on Facebook that will make me want to gag. Instead, here we do the more creative thing… we create bad poetry. The badder, the better.

A note about bad poetry: Some people just don’t get it. They seem to think we’re making fun of great poets. No indeed. We’re making fun of ALL poets. Those who think they are deep. Those who want to show they’re smarter than you. Those who rhyme “love” with “dove,” “glove,” and “above.” And most of all, those who call out, “Hey, look at me! I’m sensitive!” So the time has come once again to your bad poems. Stop the wordsmithing madness and start constipating on wrong rhythms and awful word choice. The 2015 Bad Poetry Contest is here! Read more from Chip…

I hope you’ll head on over to Chip MacGregor’s Annual Bad Poetry Contest and read the rest of his post, then post your bad stuff and make me proud!

THEN come back here and post a comment letting me know that you entered, and you’ll be in the running for a FREE DOWNLOAD from my writing workshops! ($14.95 value!) Be sure to come back next Tuesday to see if you’re the winner!

Remember, to be included in HIS contest, you have to post your bad poetry AS A COMMENT ON CHIP’S BLOG! And to be included in OUR contest, you have to leave a comment here that you entered Chip’s contest.

Clear as mud?

So go on now…get started. Show off your bad self and make me proud!

Thanks for Tweeting…Sharing is sweet!

Time for #Agent @MacGregorLit Annual Bad #Poetry Contest! Enter There & Win Here! @VondaSkelton #amwriting (Click to Tweet)

Expecting great things from you…

Vonda

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  • Nice Lady with Gun

    Hey, Vonda, weren’t you an instructor with Long Ridge Writer’s Group? I think you were my instructor briefly in 2008. I never figured out if you eased out from that position because I was a terrifyingly bad writer or because you had other commitments. (Kidding…) You were wonderful, though.
    I AM a terrifyingly bad writer! Here’s my bad poem:

    An Oculance of Love

    I was first struck by your flashing eyes.
    (That was incredibly weird.)
    Could this be love? The beginnings, anyway?
    I smiled shyly.

    I could feel your eyes on me, slowly moving up and down my body.,
    Sliding over every curve,
    Resting briefly, appreciatively, on my bosom,
    then easing greasily downward.
    Viscous.
    Unblinking.
    A sensation like no other.

    Remember when they roved over tedious riddles solved years ago?
    Now they only rove my own confused territory.

    I hurt you badly once, batting your eyes.
    “Look! Look!” you cried, as I swung for a homer.
    How I regret missing your meaning,
    not knowing which orbit you meant.
    You had a global view there for a while.

    You forgave, your eyes brimming with forgiveness,
    love,
    juicy stuff-
    You chuckle: vitreous humor.

    Now you roll your eyes at me.
    Not like last time though. Remember how hairy they got?

    My cat is dead now.
    Your eyes are safe in my heart.
    In the poetic sense, I mean. Of course.

    (with apologies to Thomas Hardy)

    • Oh, I love it, Nice Lady! It’s just so awful!

    • And I forgot to say, no, I’ve never been an instructor at Long Ridge Writer’s Group. So see, neither of us have baggage to work through. 🙂

      Welcome to the CWD!

  • Nice Lady with Gun

    I submitted ‘An Oculance on Love’ to Chip’s Bad Poetry contest. Now I’m eager to get familiar with your blog which I saw for the first time this morning. I’m impressed, and will be back.

    • Welcome to the gang, Nice Lady with Gun! Glad to have you!

  • Alycia Johnson Morales

    I wrote one! LOL!

    • Way to go, Alycia!!! Be sure to post it here as well so it qualifies for the contest. 🙂 I’m headed over to Chip’s site now. 🙂

  • Glenda Mills

    So Vonda, Did I put my bad poem in the right place?

    • Yes! I saw it posted at Chip’s site as well, and that’s the key. You can’t enter here if you don’t enter there!

  • Glenda Mills

    You Don’t Wanna Publish MY Poem…Do You?

    Hey mister…

    You don’t wanna publish

    My poem!

    Do you?

    After all you’re way

    up there as far as

    Published writers go…

    And I’m feeling mighty

    low down here these days…

    thinking…

    Oh no… you don’t wanna

    publish MY poem!

    Do you?

    And here I am

    heading for my

    twilight years

    with my pipe dreams

    floating around

    each cloud

    I’m under…

    thinking…

    Why would you wanna

    publish My poem!

    Would you?

    Glenda Mills

    glendamills@frontier.com/ http://www.glendamills.com

    • Wonderful, Glenda! Great…er…awful…job!

      • Glenda Mills

        Hey that was fun Vonda! I just happened to find your email in between mulching my flower bed and thought I’d give it a try. Thanks for a place to do this! Now I’ll go back and read the other entrys. A huge response!

  • Oh, Vonda. What Fun! But I can’t write bad poetry – nor good poetry – but mediocre doggerel is all I can come up with. I do enjoy reading the bad stuff on Chip’s blog, so I hope a lot of your readers enter.

    • I, too, enjoy reading poorly-written poetry because I’m not a good poet, either! Thanks for cheering the writers on!